Very Creative Name

God of War 1 is the picture of an action game. It is short, brutal, and lots of fun. So over the last 10 months every time I saw God of War 2, I was itching to pick it up. But I always stopped myself. I wanted to rent it first. What if it was as short as the first edition? Well, I finally
rented it and I'm very glad I did. Not only is it as short as the last one, it's far, far worse.

The fact that it's bad is surprising not only because the first one was so good but also because it's the same fuckin game as the first one. The chain swords from the end of the last one, about 90% of the same enemies, almost ALL of the same moves and very similar magics. There is a bit more jumping and swinging in this one, though, and expansive camera angles that all had me thinking 'Are they trying to be prince of persia'? And that was before I got the ability to slow time.

It's fucking hard. This isn't a bad thing in theory. I like my games hard. But this one is outrageously hard, and not in a fun way. The kind of hard that makes you howl into the night like a wounded dog or clench your jaw until your teeth shatter. Bosses that take 2 to 3 unblockable hits to kill you and regular enemies that can kill you without drawing breath if you make the mistake of jumping around them. About halfway through the game I just gave up and after my 17th death fighting a miniboss who could kill me before I could move I just gave in and switched it to easy mode. I'm pretty sure it was the first time I've ever had to go to easy mode on anything. Maybe it was me, though, maybe it didn't match up with my gaming style. Or maybe I didn't get the totally unintuitive trick to each boss. Which leads me to...

This game was designed to sell guides. All of the puzzles and little tricks to things aren't something that one uses logic to figure out. They have no pattern to them like puzzles in Zelda or prince of persia, they give a totally open situation, with no hint of how to solve it and then let you go nuts. It's terribly frustrating.

And still, perhaps the worst thing about the game was the 'story'. In GoW1 they touched on the story at parts, but it was mostly about Kratos and his torment, then you went right back to tearing people open. This game, however, must have had greek mythology buffs reeling, because even with my modest knowledge of the subject I could tell there was some serious artistic licence taken. In that respect, they tried to cram as many mythology cameos as they could in the 10 hours of gameplay. (Kratos was strong enough to hold off Atlas, but he had a knock down drag out fight with f'n Icarus) Not to mention Kratos's shift from a tormented angry soul to a whiny, selfish dickhead. I'm sure Godhood isn't humbling, but I don't want to play as a dickhead. Evil, fine, good, fine, allergic to peanuts, fine, dickhead, no.

The verdict: Don't waste your time.